Verizon makes Telkom look like geniuses
by Fred on 09/04/08 at 7:00 am
3 comments
[An oldie but a goodie - thanks Shaun!] For all those millions of folk on our beloved continent who are Telkom or Vodacom customers, spare a thought for Verizon’s hapless legions in North America. Verizon is an internet and mobile service provider, and apparently they have some problems with basic math. I thought that this may cheer some of you up, considering all the bitching and moaning about crap service I’ve been privy to lately. Here’s an excerpt from a conversation in May last year between Verizon customer George Vaccaro and the Verizon call centre…
—————————————-
[Start of Call]
[on hold with Verizon Wireless customer service]
Trent (Verizon): Hi.. Hey, George?
George: Yes.
T: Hey I’m really sorry about that wait there. Hey, I got Mike on the line. He’s my supervisor over here and uh, he’ll take care of you from here on out, okay?
G: Thanks.
T: Alright.
Mike (Verizon): Thanks Trent. Good evening George, how are you doing this evening?
G: Great, except that I’ve been trying to resolve this for two calls and over 45 minutes now.
M: Okay, well lets see what we got here, I’m definitely sorry that uh, that you’ve had to call in that many times. Let’s see, ummm, looks like you’re questioning some kilobyte usage that was done while in Canada?
G: Well, let me just start out with a basic question.
M: Okay.
G: Do you recognize that there’s a difference between “point zero zero two dollars” and “point zero zero two cents”?
[pause]
M: Point zero zero two dollars?
G: Do you recognize that there is actually…
M: …and point zero zero two cents.
G: Yes, do you you recognize there’s a difference between those 2 numbers?
[pause]
M: No.
G: Okay, is there a difference between 2 dollars and 2 cents?
M: Well, yeah, sir..
G: Well okay, is it.. is there a difference between .002 dollars and .002 cents?
M: .002 dollars and .002 cents.
G: Yes, is there a difference between..
M: Sir, sir, they’re.. they’re both the same if you, if you look at ‘em on paper-wise
G: No.. they’re not, actually. It.. is .5 dollars the same as .5 cents?
M: Is .5 dollars..?
G: Is half a dollar..
M: That would be.. That would be 50 cents.
G: A half a dollar.. is it the same as a half of a cent?
M: No.
G: Right.
M: Okay.
G: So, clearly, two one-thousandths of a dollar, which is your rate for airtime as I now understand it, uh, your rate per kilobyte in Canada is two one-thousandths of a dollar. But two one-thousandths of a dollar is different than two one-thousandths of a *cent*. What I was quoted was .002 cents. That’s two one-thousandths of a cent per kilobyte.
M: Mmhm. okay…?
G: I specifically asked the rep. I said, “Are you saying it’s .002 dollars or .002 cents?” because I .. *I* recognize that there’s a difference. Just like there’s a difference between that half a dollar and half a cent.
M: Okay.
G: There’s a difference between .002 dollars and .002 cents. Your rate in Canada is .002 cents.
M: Correct.
G: Uh, it’s point, point… Well okay, it’s not true, it’s .002 dollars. You’re still quoting me .002 cents when in fact it’s .002 dollars per kilobyte. So, if you want to charge me .002 cents, I’d be happy to pay the bill, the problem is I was charged .002 dollars per kilobyte.
M: Okay, so if you take.. okay.. do you have a calculator with you?
G: Yeah, I do.
G: Okay, take this uh, 71.79.
G: Yeah.
M: And divide that by uh, 35,893 you should come out with .002
G: Yes, and what units should it be? Dollars or cents?
M: Well that’s per *kilobyte*.
G: Right. And is it dollars or cents per kilobyte?
M: Well, let me take a look here for ya.
[time passes...]
M: [looking up rates] We’re.. we’re in Canada..
[time passes...]
M: Hold on one second for me..
[time passes...]
M: [mumbles something about Canada]
[time passes...]
- The ‘Verizon Math’ website is here.
- The Verizon website is here.
Fred Roed is the marketing guy in the Ideate crew. He runs a web marketing company called World Wide Creative and loves writing about people out there doing marketing right. View more articles by Fred.
Chris Rowland
Apr 11th, 2008
Haha.
I had a very similar experience with the SA Receiver of Revenue.
I had an amount of foreign income multiplied by the prevailing exchange rate. Because the decimal point looked like a thousand separator, they listed my income as 10 times more than it actually was. (My tax was unbelievably high!)
So I duly pointed out the obvious mathematical error in my re-submission.
They replied by saying “please present proof that we have made an error”.
I replied by saying “Your error is obvious. You have moved the decimal point.”
It took about three correspondences for them to get it right.
My accountant assured me this was not a unique incident.
Well, there you have.
Greg
Apr 18th, 2008
As a South African studying in the USA and usings Verizon’s service I can attest to the fact that this is all TRUE – give me MTN or Vodacom or Telkom anyday. The US wireless providers are all shockers.
Check out this useful blog post for more http://ritamcgrath.com/blog/comments/enraged-customers-will-create-opportunities-in-the-wireless-space/
Fred
Apr 18th, 2008
Greg, I agree, although there are some providers like Mweb and iBurst here in SA who currently fall way short of the service provided anywhere else, I guarantee you…