Give your kid a name start in business
by Shane on 19/10/07 at 10:15 am
4 comments
The fact that God takes naming very seriously, is a great heads up that perhaps we should too. Now it’s too late if you’ve already bestowed upon your child a wonder name – but for those who have yet to do the honours, you may want to seriously consider what name you call your little snot nosed legacy. Will my child be able to take his or her name boldy onto the playground without risking a wedgie? Will they be able to confidently write their name on their first CV draft? The pressure is on you parent! I mean, seriously, when last did you employ someone in your PR department by the name of Gaylord? And would you trust someone with a name like Randy to manage your business?
Craked.com has put together a list of the 9 Manliest Names in the World, these are real life names that have clearly helped these guys along the way.
# 9 – Lance Armstrong
It’ impossible to hear this name without picturing many men getting impaled on a battlefield. He’ got the lance, and he’ got the arm strength to drive it through you and the four guys standing behind you.
# 8 – Powers Boothe
A strong, solid name. The first name especially leaves the reader wondering, “What kind of powers? Mind control? Flight? Laser-beam eyes? It’s laser-beam eyes, isn’t it?”
# 7 – Max Planck
Great name. It’ got the solid “Max” and the mental image of a man as rigid and unyielding as a thick piece of lumber. A name like this, you’re probably either a carpenter or pirate.
# 6 – Commander Flex Plexico
This guy is a walking action figure. This one almost defies analysis, because what kind of parents call their kid “Flex?” Awesome ones, that’s what kind.
# 5 – Dr. Duncan Steel
The title is what makes this one. This man gets to be called “Doctor Steel” on a daily basis. That is so awesome that we’re thinking of forming a heavy metal band just so we can call it that.
# 4 – Stirling Mortlock
When you think about it, this is a ridiculous name. Its individual names would not have worked in a different setting. “Stirling Smith” probably got a wedgie every day at school, and “Cecil Mortlock” very likely had his head dumped in the toilet nearly as often. However, its two halves manage to come out the other side of ridiculous into an amazing whole.
# 3 – Magnus ver Magnusson
Nordic naming conventions mean that his name essentially means “Magnus son of Magnus” which immediately brings to mind a line of men, all Magnuses, doing incredibly manly things through the ages. This is a damn solid entry, and you can never go wrong with a nice “Ver” or Von” or “Mac” in there somewhere.
# 2 – Dick Pound
Um … we actually aren’t quite sure why this one’s on the list, to be honest. Dick Pound? Hmmm. Dick Pound. An intern gave us this one. He insisted it be on the list. “Richard” isn’t especially manly, and neither is British currency. Is this a trick? Dick Pound. Dick … Pound.
# 1 – Staff Sgt. Max Fightmaster
Fightmaster is the kind of name we all wish we were born with. And, the irony is that it’ the one name that will prevent you from ever having to actually fight anybody. If you ever get into a scuffle at a bar, before the fists start swinging, people would pull the other guy back shouting, “No you fool! He’s Max Fightmaster! Think about this for a second!”
Inspiring stuff.
Read their full name bio’s here.
Shane Dryden is the 'Maven' at Ideate. The driving-force of Yuppiechef, Shane loves to write on advertising and innovation. He spots the non-obvious stuff behind the obvious, which seems obvious, but isn’t really that obvious (obviously). View more articles by Shane.
Fred
Oct 19th, 2007
HA! This is a freaking classic article, Mr Maven. The beautiful game (rugby, not soccer) has given us a couple of good Afrikaans names as well:
- Baksteen van Wyk
- Draadkar de Lange
- Kaas van Tonder
Shane
Oct 22nd, 2007
Another one to add to the rugby classic name list is the one and only – Naas Botha. Very very naas.
Craig
Oct 24th, 2007
I totally agree with what you are saying.
My business partner and I both lived and worked over in Taiwan for a few years so we thought to use some Chinese in our company’s name. We called it Dong Shi Worx.
Dong Shi means “East West” in Chinese but means “Thing / anything” and we thought it was relevant to us coming back from the East to the West. But having to tell clients our company name or spell out the email address has become painful and having one client say “Dog S**t – what kind of name is that!” has really made us rethink the whole thing.
So we bought the shortened domain name (www.dsw.co.za) as well but for anyone living in durban you’ll know that DSW stands for Durban Solid Waste (refuse removal part of the Durban municipality).
So, maybe we should rethink the name while we are still small and growing – or should we persevere? For now we’ll stick with it, too much hassle to change everything!
but it’s a lesson learnt I tell you!
Shane
Oct 24th, 2007
This is a hilarious story Craig! I real-life name problem…classic. Perhaps a name rethink would be a good idea – i must say that the name really looks good in the design though! We have a similar problem with our name, Live Alchemy. Most people haven’t heard the word ‘alchemy’ before, so we almost always have to spell it out.