Ideate

It has come to my attention that the 4 of you are promoting an insidious traditional weapon that, in terms of the Constitution of the Republic of South Africa, is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE. SHAME ON YOU!

The action of this weapon as you describe it on the Bug Zapper website is insensitive to Fly lovers (and other bug lovers) the world over. ‘zap off a wing or a leg or both’ is horrible. Since when is mutilation acceptable. Using a tennis racket form to disguise the real and despicable intention of this device brings the glorious game of tennis into disrepute. Imagine the crowd using these weapons at the Australian Open in January or, perish the thought, at WIMBLEDON. The zapping sound would distract the players. The only acceptable use for the weapon is to give it to Wayne Ferreira to use as a tennis racket and maybe the "zapping sound" would distract his opponents long enough in order for him to win a game or two. Husbands are also at risk as their wives cotton on to the idea of using it to keep their husbands at bay.

Don’t you guys THINK of the consequences? You have dealt us husbands a mortal blow. The step by step directions for use of the weapon is too shocking for words. You should have an age restriction on the site as children or other "sensitive surfers" could be traumatised by the graphic display of violence.

Current research into "fly saliva" has yielded promising results in that fly saliva could be used in sauces – tomato sauce, HP sauce, Worcestershire Sauce and others to prevent life threatening diseases such as malaria, TB and HIV/Aids. SO!!! Your using this phrase to intimidate and frighten unsuspecting buyers into purchasing this device is in breach of the Advertising Standards Authotities Code of Conduct – Section 234, Para 34b, subpara 16(i) and (iv) – of the revised revised version of 2003/12/13/a.

I have also reported you to the UN WHO DUNWAT Advisory Board for them to place you on the "War against Terror" list for the promotion, advertising and selling of a weapon of mass destruction. At this moment I’m far too emotional to think clearly anymore. But be warned. I have head hunted Nan Rice of Dolphin Action Group fame to head up a high powered team to "Ban the Bug Zapper" and to protect flies throughout our land. This organisation will be called FLY = Flies Love You. and we are not a fly by night body by an measure.

You will hear more from me.

FLY’s RULE, OK!!!